


National Hot Dad Alliance Goes to Ikebukuro!!

by CyprinTheFabulousDragon



Category: Durarara!!, Haikyuu!!
Genre: Gen, Kidnapping, i seriously hope everyone's in character, the crossover that no one asked for, vacation gone wrong
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-04-17
Updated: 2016-04-26
Packaged: 2018-06-02 21:06:44
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,538
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6582460
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CyprinTheFabulousDragon/pseuds/CyprinTheFabulousDragon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The old captains are at it again! They found a weekend they could all get away from their new lives and meet up just like old times, but now they're headed to Ikebukuro! ...Didn't anyone tell them that city's not for tourists?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. What's in the Water Here?

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [national hot dad alliance is now calling...](https://archiveofourown.org/works/5663683) by [dicaeopolis](https://archiveofourown.org/users/dicaeopolis/pseuds/dicaeopolis), [owlinaminor](https://archiveofourown.org/users/owlinaminor/pseuds/owlinaminor). 



> Make sure to read "national hot dad alliance is now calling..." first or you'll be very confused. Plus read it first anyway because it's beautiful and hilarious and hits all the Haikyuu!! feels.

One late night call, Kuroo's smile had been a little more devilish than usual. He and Bokuto had another great plan for a trip, and, miraculously, all five of the ex-captains found a weekend that worked in their busy new schedules. Before they knew it, the weekend was upon them; Kuroo and Bokuto hadn't had time for another fantastic entrance, both of them having been saddled with college work, but the greeting was warm nonetheless. The group took a bus to a nearby city, Ikebukuro, and swore to stay close together amongst the crowds.

They lost Daichi first.

He had just finished a speech about not getting separated when the old, withering dog that often hung around the park had caught his eye, and without a second thought, he’d starting petting away. Any time he tried to leave, the dog would follow him with shaky legs and tug his heart strings until he was back to petting the old thing. Without their token dad friend, the rest of the group wandered off, staying together for an impressive seven minutes and forty six seconds. 

After Daichi, Bokuto and Kuroo were all but kidnapped by a group of four friends in a van; well, mainly they were taken by two from the group, a boy and a girl who had announced enthusiastically that the two belonged in a sports anime. Bokuto immediately flexed his biceps and soaked in the shower of compliments that followed, and the two were gone.

Oikawa clung to Ushijima’s arm like a drowning person held an inner tube until a group of women starting flirting with him. Oikawa stood tall and flaunted himself in his usual way, and while he was alone, Ushijima was roped into trying out some Russian sushi - the country boy didn’t know how to say no to someone so persistent. 

And then there was one. 

Once the girls moved on from Oikawa, he looked around for Ushijima, finding nothing but strange faces and odd flocks. “Ushiwaka!” He called, cupping one hand on the side of his mouth while the other planted itself on his hip. His eyes narrowed in annoyance. “Stupid Ushi-baka,” he muttered to himself as he pulled out his phone and typed furiously.

 **perfectkawa ✌:** where tf are you guys  
**perfectkawa ✌:** IM OUT HERE ALONE  
**perfectkawa ✌:** WHAT IF I GET KIDNAPPED  
**perfectkawa ✌:** WTF GUYS ANSWER  
**perfectkawa ✌:** IM TOO PRETTY TO DIE

“Excuse me,” an unfamiliar voice said behind Oikawa, “but is your name Oikawa Tooru?”

Oikawa turned around, an unsure smile twisting his lips. “Kanra?”

~Kuroo’s~PoV~

 **ur favorite lolcat:** sorry nerd we got busy  
**HOOT HOOT:** THIS TOWN IS FULL OF COOL PEOPLE  
**Mr. Sugawara Daichi:** THERE ARE DOGS!  
**HOOT HOOT:** SAWAMURA WE WERE LOOKING EVERYWHERE FOR YOU  
**ur favorite lolcat:** bo we have been in a manga shop for over an hour  
**HOOT HOOT:** HE COULDVE BEEN IN THERE  
**USHIJIMA WAKATOSHI:** I’m eating weird sushi... I don’t know how this happened.

Kuroo raised an eyebrow at his phone, noticing a surprising lack of complaining or comment from Oikawa.

 **ur favorite lolcat:** hey oikawa dont ignore us  
**USHIJIMA WAKATOSHI:** He was with me for while but he got flocked by women.  
**Mr. Sugawara Daichi:** Of course he did. Oikawa, check your phone already.

Kuroo was leaning against a bookshelf, staring at his phone and losing himself in his thoughts. Leave it to Oikawa to complain about being abandoned and then ignore his phone. Kuroo rolled his eyes, locking his phone and joining Bokuto in the next section. The two most talkative of the groups of friends they’d found were practically throwing books at the owl, whose eyes were all but sparkling. “What? This guy’s a familiar spirit?”

“Yeah, he’s a punky little hellhound from the army, so he’s sent to Earth for obedience training,” the boy, Walker, explained. “He’s an energetic, ambitious rookie who gets paired with a jaded human prodigy.”

Bokuto laughed, his shoulders - no, his whole body shaking. “Hey hey, I know a couple crows like that!”

“Then the two fall in love and fight demons together!” The girl, Erika, continued, also sparkling. “Boy’s love is the greatest!”

“No, no! Kazuma is totally the ex-rival character!” Walker argued.

Bokuto turned to Kuroo, beaming. “Hinata and Kageyama should talk to this author, don’t you think?” Kuroo didn’t react, and Bo’s smile fell in response. “Bro? You okay?”

Kuroo checked his phone again; Daichi and Ushijima had gotten side-tracked and were talking about their experiences in the town, but there had been no word from Oikawa. “He still hasn’t answered,” Kuroo said, shoving his phone in his back pocket. “It’s not like him to shut up for this long. I mean, it’s not like we insulted aliens or something. Do you think he’s okay?”

“Totally, bro! You know him; he’s probably too busy flirting or something. He’ll answer soon, so relax!” Bo’s grin was back, but Kuroo wasn’t convinced. Call it a gut feeling, but something felt off to him.

 **ur favorite lolcat:** Oikawa Tooru, if you’re moping, stop it.  
**Mr. Sugawara Daichi:** Wow. I didn’t know you knew how to properly form a sentence.  
**USHIJIMA WAKATOSHI:** I’ll go look for him, Kuroo. Don’t worry.  
**HOOT HOOT:** srsly dude he’s probs getting food by now or something  
**Mr. Sugawara Daichi:** I think I’m on Kuroo’s side in this. We should all try to find him.  
**ur favorite lolcat:** No.  
**Mr. Sugawara Daichi:** What?  
**ur favorite lolcat:** No one’s going anywhere alone. Sawamura, meet up with Ushijima. Don’t get lost, don’t talk to strangers, don’t walk down empty roads.  
**Mr. Sugawara Daichi:** Kuroo...  
**HOOT HOOT:** ok guys, mission: find alien nerd is a go! and im in charge of cheering kuroo up in the meantime  
**HOOT HOOT:** aaaaaaaaand break!  
**USHIJIMA WAKATOSHI:** Gotcha.  
**Mr. Sugawara Daichi:** Hot Dad Alliance, Fight!

~Oikawa’s~PoV~

He fought to keep his eyes open, staring out the dark rear window of the van. His arms were tied behind his back, though he doubted he’d be able to move them even if they weren’t bound. Whatever they’d forced him to breathe, it was working.

In his jacket pocket, his phone was buzzing like a purring cat. Of course, now the idiots decided to answer. He watched street light after street light get left behind, and a slow shiver ran through his body.

_Oh God, please, find me, guys._

The roof of a parking garage engulfed the sky, and Oikawa watched helplessly. The car rolled to a stop, parking with a jerk. “Are we early?” A voice said from the front seat of the van.

“Shit, yeah,” another voice said.

“Well, contact the guys and have them get here ASAP,” the first voice said. “I swear to God, if the Black Rider or those fucking kids show up again, I’m going to lose it.”

Oikawa wiggled his arms, the cloth holding his wrists together loosening a bit. He fought for each shift of his muscles, but he’d been damned if he was giving up. Not with his new friends waiting for him in the city, not with Iwa-chan waiting for him to come home, not with his entire future waiting for him just beyond tomorrow. He would not give up.

He would also not make the same mistakes again, assuming he made it out of this ordeal safely. He could, in hindsight, count every single mess up he’d made one by one, like a ‘To Not Do’ list in his head. First, he shouldn’t have used his real name in all those chat rooms. Iwa-chan had yelled at him a million times, telling him over and over to change it, but Oikawa had felt invincible - really, who could hate him? He was a joy! Second, he shouldn’t have told his chat friend that he was going to Ikebukuro. Third, he should’ve run as soon as a stranger had said his name. Fourth, he shouldn’t have followed the stranger. And that, all in all, was how he’d ended up drugged in the back of a sketchy van.

His phone buzzed again, and he found strength to continue struggling. If he could only get to his phone...

~Bokuto’s~PoV~

“So guys, level with me - is Ikebukuro dangerous?”

The group of six were hanging around in an alley nearby the manga store. Kuroo had his phone up to his ear, pacing back and forth on the sidewalk. Saburo was in his van, listening to music or something, and the other four were leaning against a chain-link fence, trying to chat away the tense mood Kuroo had draped over the evening.

Bokuto had given up on the small talk. If Kuroo was going to panic, he needed to find a way to calm down his bro. Bro-code dictated that; it was totally a rule somewhere.

The silence that followed his question, however, was really not helping.

Kyouhei took a step off the wall, looking as intense as he had all day. “Why do you ask?”

“I’m trying to calm Kuroo down,” Bokuto explained. “But if there are things to be worried about, be honest.”

Erika exchanged a glance with Walker’s eyelids, then looked at Bokuto. “Well, there are definitely some people around here that you don’t want to mess with.”

“For starters, there’s the Yellow Squares,” Kyouhei said. “They’re a color gang that had been dying out, but their old leader just rejoined. There’s also the Slasher, the Black Rider, Simon, Shizuo Heiwajima, and Izaya Orihara-”

“His boyfriend,” Erika finished.

“No!” Walker and Kyouhei protested in unison.

Bokuto rubbed the back of his head. “Who are all those guys? I mean, what are they, villains?”

“Nah, nothing like that,” Walker said with a wave of his hand. “The Slasher’s all but gone, but there were a mysterious serial stabber.” Seeing Bokuto jump forward, he quickly added, “They haven’t attacked in, like, two weeks though, and the rumor online is that there won’t be any more attacks, so don’t worry about that one.”

Bokuto slowly leaned back against the fence. The mental picture of this unknown figure looming over Oikawa made him light headed, so he tried to shake it out of his mind. “So what about the others?” He asked, his voice giving away how unsure he was.

“The Black Rider is a biker, but the rumor is that he’s headless!” Erika said.

Kyouhei continued, “Simon’s a pacifist who works at a Russian sushi place not far from here. He’s crazy strong though, and he tends to break up Shizuo’s fights. Shizuo... he’s almost a monster. He’s been known to throw vending machines. And Izaya.” Kyouhei looked around, checking the growing shadows. He’s an information broker who frequents Ikebukuro. He seems to keep tabs on everything that goes on around here, and he’s definitely not someone you should trust.”

Bokuto’s head was spinning. Headless motorcyclists? Vending machines? What was in the water in this city? “So... if our friend wasn’t answering his phone, where do you think we should go to look for him?”

“Someone not from this city missing in action, huh?” Walker asked, his words drawn out slowly. “Yeah, sounds like traffickers to me.”

“What?!” Bokuto took a step back, unable to move anymore than that.

Without a word, Kyouhei walked over to Saburo’s van, talking in whispers through the open window. Erika pushed off the fence, looking at Walker, her hands in determined fists. “Does this mean we’re going on another chase?”

“We can use our new issues on anyone we catch this time!” He replied. “Let’s do it!”

The two hurried to the van, but Bokuto felt frozen. Human traffickers? No... that meant... Oikawa...

The fence shook violently. Bokuto turned around to find Kuroo, his fist against the rattling metal, his head down and his hair covering his face. Bokuto had no idea when his friend had come up behind him and started listening, but based on the reaction, he’d heard enough. “Dammit,” Kuroo whispered. Then, punching the fence again, he yelled, “Dammit! What idiot goes wandering off alone in a city? A country idiot, that’s who!”

“Bro,” Bokuto began, reaching a hand to Kuroo’s shoulder. 

Kuroo smacked the hand away, turning towards Bokuto. The momentum pushed his hair out of his face for only a second, but Bokuto didn’t miss the wet trail on Kuroo’s cheek illuminated by a streetlight. “We have to find him Bo, ‘cause I’m gonna kill him. I’m gonna kill that dumbass!” Kuroo’s lips quivered as he talked, and his teeth were clenched in a snarl that didn’t suit him.

“We’ll find him, bro, we will,” Bokuto said, his voice betraying the words.

“Hey, hurry up and get in,” Saburo called, revving the van. Erika hung out the window, smiling, and Saburo had his arm dangling outside the open window with a look of confidence.

Bokuto and Kuroo stared at each other for only a moment, then bolted to the van.

As the door slid closed behind them, Kyouhei said, “We’ve dealt with guys like this before, so we have an idea where to start. Don’t worry. Oh, and hold on.”

The van screeched to life, tearing down the road.

 **HOOT HOOT:** where are you guys?  
**Mr. Sugawara Daichi:** We’re both in the sushi place. How about you two?  
**HOOT HOOT:** on our way to find Oikawa  
**HOOT HOOT:** dont leave the restaurant ok?  
**HOOT HOOT:** not for anything  
**HOOT HOOT:** and if you meet anyone called the slasher, the black rider, shizuo heiwajima or izaya orihara dont piss them off got it?  
**USHIJIMA WAKATOSHI:** Who are they?  
**HOOT HOOT:** dangerous  
**ur favorite lolcat:** Seriously guys, stay put.  
**Mr. Sugawara Daichi:** So, ‘mission: cheer up Kuroo’ hasn’t been successful?  
**HOOT HOOT:** not now sawamura  
**Mr. Sugawara Daichi:** Sorry...  
**HOOT HOOT:** no its ok just not a good time  
**Dadchi:** What’s going on? Is Oikawa okay?  
**HOOT HOOT:** i hope so


	2. A Surprising Rescue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So, Oikawa can fend for himself, right? ...You know, maybe the captains should hurry up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Durarara!! Season 1 spoilers in this chapter, so if you haven't finished it and plan to, do that first! 
> 
> Also, I wanted to say thanks to everyone who's reading; I didn't expect to get any hits at all and in two days I reached 100! I can't say enough how grateful I am. Thanks!!

~Oikawa’s~PoV~

Oikawa’s kidnappers didn’t move from the van, keeping their voices at whispers. The tie wrapped around his wrists had substantially loosened, but he wasn’t free yet. His phone continued buzzing behind him, lying close to his leg after it had been shaken from his pocket, driving him to keep struggling. Each second he couldn’t contact anyone was another second closer to serious danger. He was starting to regain some of his strength, and each wiggle loosened his bindings further. 

Without any warning, however, there was a loud crash from the front seats of the vehicle. His captors screamed, the van rocking like a rowboat in the ocean. There were more voices, new ones, laughing sadistically and shouting right back at the shrieks. Oikawa jumped, thrashing in the back, his heart hammering in his chest. 

The screaming stopped, one, then the other, just as fast as it had started. Oikawa froze, his chest heaving despite all his attempts to control his own body. His eyes squeezed closed as if doing so could make him disappear. _It would be a_ shame _if I were to get_ abducted _\- by_ aliens _\- right about now!_

Of course, the action was futile. Past his eyelids, Oikawa could see the light flooding into the back as the trunk was lifted. “Well, didn’t expect to see you here, Oikawa.”

His eyes flew open. Grinning down at him, in his yellow team jacket, was the leader of the party school. “Terushima?” He asked, vaguely remembering the player from spring tournament two years ago.

Terushima’s smile widened, and he lifted the rusty pipe he’d been holding to smack it against his own open palm. “Wow, surprised you remember me.” He turned to one of the two men flanking him, saying, “Hey, untie him.”

With assistance from the stranger, _definitely not a volleyball player, he would’ve remembered,_ Oikawa sat up and angled his wrists so the man had access. “What are you doing here?” He couldn’t help but ask.

“Ah, I come here on the weekend sometimes when I need to get away. A guy like me can find a place to relax in a city like this.” He dropped the pipe from his palm, popping his jacket collar. “A better question is, what are you doing here? And how’d you end up in the back of a van?” 

Oikawa rubbed his wrist as soon as he was free, the irritation marking his skin red. The man backed up from him, back to flanking Terushima. “Vacation. I got separated from our group earlier, and ran into someone...” He looked towards the front of the van; the windshield was shattered, glass splayed across the seats, where two unconscious men were lying with rising chests and otherwise no movement. “Why’d you come here?”

“Masaomi saw a sketchy-ass van driving around and had a bad feeling about it.” Terushima turned to the man on his other side, saying, “Go ahead and text him. Tell him we found some out of towner, nothing important.” He turned back to Oikawa, smiling. “You’re one lucky-ass motherfucker. People have been disappearing quite a bit lately. This isn’t really the place for tourists.” 

“Yeah, I gathered. Thanks, by the way.” 

“Don’t mention it, just doing what we were told. You haven’t happened to have heard of the Yellow Squares, have you?” Terushima’s grin seemed plastered.

Oikawa stared at the odd face for a moment before replying, “No, I haven’t. Why?”

Terushima grabbed Oikawa by his shirt collar, dragging him towards his face. The teeth bared were now a threat, Oikawa realized. “Let’s just agree on something, huh? I don’t tie you back up and leave your ass in this van, and you don’t tell anyone from Miyagi that I come to this city, understand?”  
Oikawa nodded. After everything he’d been through, he didn’t think he’d be telling much of anything about this trip to anyone. Yep, he was thinking repression might be better, if not utter denial that he ever went to the city. Ikebukuro? What was that? He’d never heard of it, no, not once. 

“Good.” Terushima hauled Oikawa out of the trunk and onto his feet. “Alright, let’s get you somewhere safer.” As the words escaped his mouth, Oikawa swore he heard a horse’s neigh. The four boys turned their heads to the parking garage entrance. There, silhouetted by the streetlights, was a motorcycle and its rider, both completely black, except for the rider’s helmet.

Oikawa typed his head. “Who’s that?”

All three of his rescuers’ faces were dropped in shock. “Oh shit, it’s the Black Rider!” One yelled.

Terushima gave Oikawa a tiny, two fingered salute. “Fuck this, you’re on your own. Run!” With that, the three took off, deeper into the garage.  
“Wait!” Oikawa called, but they were swallowed by shadows and their footsteps echoed into nothing. He looked back to this Black Rider, who had kicked their bike stand down and was walking towards the only person left. Oikawa briefly wondered if he had the strength to run away, but honestly, even if he could get some distance between them, he’d never be able to outrun a bike.

The figure approached slowly, and Oikawa couldn’t help but notice the rider was a woman. From her sleeve, she pulled out a cell phone and tapped on it quickly. She showed Oikawa the note which said, “Don’t be afraid. Are you Oikawa Tooru? Kanra sent me to get you.”

Kanra, huh? Second time today someone had used that fake name with him. Still, he nodded, unsure what else to do. If he lied about who he was, would someone else come find him later? He just wanted this whole thing to be over. He wanted to find Ushijima and Daichi and Bokuto and Kuroo; if he had to go along with this person first, he didn’t care. 

The Black Rider turned her phone back to herself and began tapping again. Her fingers moved incredibly fast, and when she showed him again she’d written out, “I was told to retrieve you and take you to meet him. Will you come with me?”

Oikawa sighed. “Yeah. Sure.”

The two hopped on the bike, and as they sped off, he again heard the loud whinny of a stallion. The bike beneath him almost felt alive as they streaked across the road, and Oikawa closed his eyes and hung on.

Back in the garage, his phone buzzed, over and over. 

~Kuroo’s~PoV~

The van rolled slowly into a parking garage, its headlights illuminating the far shadows where the overhead bulbs had burned out and left unkept. “Why are we here?” Kuroo asked, trying to hold on to the last of his patience.

“Because someone saw the van these guys were looking for come in here. Relax, bro. We’re getting close.” Bokuto said from the seat beside him, his voice unusually quiet. 

“I’ll relax when we find Tooru.”

The van parked in one of the many unoccupied spaces; the garage was empty except for one vehicle that looked utterly ransacked. “That doesn’t look good,” Kyohei said, more or less to himself.

As soon as the car stopped, Kuroo’s feet were on the pavement, running to the other van. Broken glass littered the ground near the front, but what caught Kuroo’s eye was the small, blinking light from the open trunk. No. He grabbed the phone, seeing the blurred lock screen picture of Iwa-chan and Oikawa behind many Skype notifications.

Defeated, Kuroo fell to his knees, hitting his head against the bumper over and over. He didn’t let go of the phone, his knuckles turning white around it. 

“Kuroo?” Bokuto asked behind him.

Kuroo lifted the phone, waving it around like a small flag. “He was here,” he said flatly. “And now, wherever he is, we can’t reach him.”

“Whoa,” Erika said before Bokuto could reply, “look, there are people still in the van! They’re alive, but I think they’re unconscious.”

Walked and Erika began hauling one of the men out of the vehicle, literally dragging the limp body across the concrete. “So what do we do now?” Bokuto asked.

Kyohei sighed. “Leave it to those two. We’ll get another lead real soon.”

A hand entered Kuroo’s field of vision. He looked up, seeing Saburo giving him a small smirk. “Don’t give up yet. Believe me, I know how you feel. You have to get up and keep going, though. Giving up won’t get your friend back.”

Kuroo slowly took the hand, and the two of them hauled him to his feet. “How do you know?” Kuroo asked.

Saburo’s eyes narrowed, his face distorted by unpleasant thoughts. “I almost lost someone too. Every time we got closer to finding him, it felt like we were just one step behind, one second too late. But we got him back, we did.”

“The Legendary Kazutano Incident!” Walked said, sticking his head out of an open window from Saburo’s van. “That’s what the chat rooms call it.”  
“Hey, make sure that window’s closed by the time he wakes up,” Kyohei said.

Saburo grinned at Kuroo. “We’ll find him. Besides, there’s some good news here too.”

“Oh yeah? And what’s that?”

“Your friend isn’t around traffickers anymore,” Kyohei answered. “Someone else has him, which gives us more time to find him. Chances are a lot higher that he’s still in the city.”

“So who do you think has him?” Bokuto asked, looking determined.

Kyohei shrugged. “Once Erika and Walker get that guy talking, we’ll have an answer. Guessing won’t really do much, and anyway, I don’t have a guess.”

Muffled screaming filled the silence of the garage. Kuroo and Bokuto jumped, but Saburo and Kyohei remained unphased. 

“Should we stop them?” Bokuto asked, dancing from one foot to the other.

“Not if you want your information,” Kyohei said, shrugging.

Bokuto brought his hands to his face in fists, but didn’t object. Saburo patted his back. “Don’t worry. They won’t kill him.”

Kuroo wondered briefly if he should be concerned that he felt nothing at the screams. Shouldn’t he be like Bokuto? He’d always thought of himself as a nice person - he was! - but he was only apathetic, and that didn’t exactly win saint points by any means. “The end justifies the means, bro.”

Bokuto looked at Kuroo like he didn’t know him.

The trunk opened, the man falling out onto the dirty cement. “Th-They’re psychotic!” He cried, crawling away from the two innocent-faced sadists.

Kyohei took a step towards the man, but Kuroo beat him there. “Where’s Oikawa?” He demanded, glaring at the gross excuse of a human at his feet.

“I don’t know,” the man said, new tears falling down old tracks. 

Kuroo frowned, lifting his right leg, bringing it down on the man’s fingers. He kept his weight on his foot despite the shriek that ripped its way out of the man’s throat, feeling the fingers wiggle under his shoe. “Not a good enough answer,” he said through gritted teeth.

The man began pleading something, but Kuroo couldn’t hear it over Bokuto, who rushed to his friend, hooking his arms under Kuroo’s armpits, trying to drag him away. “Bro, stop! Get off him!”

Kuroo ground his heel one more time before Bokuto pulled him off. Kyohei took over, standing nonchalantly in front of the trafficker. “What happened before you were knocked out?”

“Th-These guys dove at the car and attacked us. It was so fast, so, so fast.” The words spilled out of his mouth, his face contorted in desperation.  
“Who were they guys? What did they look like?"

“I didn’t get a good look at them,” the man began. When Kyohei’s expression changed, he quickly added, “Yellow! They were all wearing yellow.”

“Good. Alright guys, new lead,” Kyohei said. He walked back to the van, where Erika and Walker were still sitting in the trunk, looking a bit disappointed. Saburo followed after, glancing back at Kuroo with a look of sympathy, or maybe pity.

Bokuto slowly let go of Kuroo. “Dude...”

“Forget it, Bo. Let’s just go.” Kuroo took a step towards the others.

Bokuto caught his wrist, squeezing tightly. “You’re scaring me, bro. That... what happened just now? It wasn’t like you.”

“We don’t have time for this right now. I just want Oikawa back.”

“So do I. We all do.”

“Then let’s go.”

“I want you back, too.”

Kuroo looked down at his shoe. He could still feel the wiggling beneath it, but now it made his stomach twist. “I’ll be fine. Come on, bro, we have to hurry.”

Bokuto let go of Kuroo’s wrist. “Okay.”

Once the two were in the van and the group was on the move, Kuroo brought up the chat.

 **ur favorite lolcat:** so good and bad news over here  
**Mr. Sugawara Daichi:** Same. You go first.  
**ur favorite lolcat:** bad news is there’s no oikawa yet and we have his phone  
**ur favorite lolcat:** good news is we have a new lead to follow  
**ur favorite lolcat:** what’s up with you guys?  
**Mr. Sugawara Daichi:** Well, good news is the sushi place is pretty quiet.  
**Mr. Sugawara Daichi:** Um, bad news...  
**Mr. Sugawara Daichi:** One of those dangerous people was Shizuo Heiwajima, right?  
**HOOT HOOT:** dont tell me  
**Mr. Sugawara Daichi:** Yeah, he just showed up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone! Just a heads up that the next update won't be as fast as this one; I haven't finished chapter 3 just yet even though I know where I want it to go. Thanks for being patient!


	3. Like Jokes and War, It's All in the Timing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again, massive spoilers in this chapter. Huge! So watch Durarara!! first. Sorry to keep beating the dead warning, but I don't want anyone to miss out on one of my favorite plot twists of the anime. Enjoy!

~Sawamura’s~PoV~

The two boys were completely frozen, unsure what to do about the infamous stranger in the booth behind them. Daichi felt himself trembling ever so slightly, like a slow rattling, while Ushijima held his normal drooped expression, though his shoulders were clearly tense. “So... any guesses as to why we need to avoid him?” Daichi asked, his tone higher than usual and hushed.

Ushijima shook his head. “We should probably refrain from talking about it, though. It might catch someone’s attention.”

Daichi nodded once. Oh God, he was stressed. Oikawa was still out there in a city that was a lot more dangerous than any of them had thought, and now he and Ushijima were stuck in a restaurant with one of the people they should be avoiding. Daichi’s stomach was performing an interpretive dance on anxiety, and he couldn’t help but wonder about the blond man behind him. Sure, he looked grumpy, but what else was there to him?

He checked his phone. Kuroo and Bokuto hadn’t answered when he’d asked what Shizuo’s deal was. He sighed, trying to expel some of his jitters. For the first time, he thought he maybe understood why Ukai smoked so much before Karasuno’s matches.

“It’s okay,” Ushijima offered quietly. He leaned across the table towards Daichi. “If things get bad, we still have each other.”

Daichi swallowed. Was he trying to imply that they could take him? The thought of violence made him squirm, but he supposed Ushijima had a point. They were in good shape after all, and he himself hadn’t missed leg day for four years. He just prayed it didn’t come to that.

 **HOOT HOOT:** u guys will be fine as long as u dont piss him off  
**HOOT HOOT:** HE CAN THROW VENDING MACHINES  
**HOOT HOOT:** so be careful

Ushijima stared as his phone much longer than he needed to. Daichi wondered if he was internally combusting.

“So, uh, what you said before-”

“Yeah. Forget it.”

Daichi let his head fall onto the table. 

From behind Daichi, Simon said, “Shizuo, it odd to see you here. You try sushi today?”

“Nah, nah, just get me something to drink. The whole damn city smells like shit again, which means Izaya’s lurking around somewhere,” the man replied in a growl.

Ushijima had his phone out before Daichi could react.

 **USHIJIMA WAKATOSHI:** Izaya’s in the city, apparently.  
**ur favorite lolcat:** that could mean serious trouble...  
**HOOT HOOT:** ok real fast WTF IS WRONG W THIS CITY  
**HOOT HOOT:** im done  
**USHIJIMA WAKATOSHI:** I agree.

“No fighting, Shizuo. Fighting always bad. Eat, be happy!”

Shizuo clicked his tongue. “If I find him, he’s dead dead dead dead dead...”

The man repeated the word over and over in an angry chant. Daichi kept his head on the table, thinking to himself that Bokuto was absolutely right. This city was cursed or something.

He shivered. Oikawa was out there on his own.

~Oikawa’s~PoV~

“We have to turn around! We have to, we have to, we have to, we have to!”

Oikawa had screamed that into the Black Rider’s ear until she pulled over. She whipped out her phone and typed, “What? Why on Earth do you want to go back?”

“I don’t have my phone!” He said, flailing his arms. “My friends are worried about me! And do you have _any idea_ how many selfies I have on there? It’s irreplaceable!”

Her helmet rolled in an exasperated circle. “If you insist,” she wrote, and Oikawa could hear the annoyed tone in the text. 

All of a sudden, they were streaking across the night again. Oikawa really thought he was going crazy, hearing a horse every time the motorcycle moved. Did he have to add auditory hallucinations to the crap he had to put up with? What, being kidnapped wasn’t good enough? He held onto the Rider’s midsection as if holding onto his sanity. 

They made it back to the garage impossibly fast, Oikawa’s head spinning from the speed of it all. The scene in the garage had changed since he’d last been there; one of the men who had been knocked out in the van was now leaned up against the side of the vehicle, panting. The Black Rider parked the bike, allowing Oikawa to hop off. She stayed close to him, though he couldn’t tell if her presence was comforting or threatening. Regardless, he prefered her to the traffickers, so he didn’t try to keep her away. Anything was better than the back of the van.

He walked slowly to the trunk, feeling like a character in a horror movie going back to the haunted house they had so desperately wanted to leave. As he approached, he noted the lack of any light or soft hums that should’ve been there. “My phone...” he said, unsure what to say next. If it was gone, who had taken it? Phones didn’t walk to the best of his knowledge. 

He turned to the biker to find a screen shoved in his face. “I need to get you to Kanra,” she insisted, likely unamused by the pointless detour. 

Oikawa looked around the garage, defeated again. “Who is Kanra?” He found himself saying without meaning to let the words out. “What does he want with me?”

The Rider typed, “I don’t know what he wants. I only know my job.”

He sighed. Without his phone, how was he supposed to find his friends? He could kick himself all the way back to Miyagi for leaving it behind in the first place. “Fine,” he said, throwing his hands up dramatically. “Sorry for making you back track. Let’s just get on with it.”

So, for what felt like the millionth time, the two got on the bike, and Oikawa didn’t even care about the stupid neigh he heard.

~Bokuto’s~PoV~

The van was stopped by the side of the road, their four new friends staring out the windows, scanning. “Who are we looking for again?” Bokuto asked, leaning forward from the back.

“Your friend ran into some Yellow Scarves,” Kyouhei replied. “We’re looking for their leader. He tends to walk this way at night.”  
“Found him!” Walker announced, pointing at the glass. “He’s with Mikado, though.”

“Don’t worry about that,” Kyouhei said, opening the door to step out.

Kuroo also climbed out, not needing an invitation. Bokuto followed, more to hold Kuroo back again if it came to that than anything else. He and his friend leaned against the van while Kyouhei took a step away from it, watching out past the crowd towards his target.

Bokuto followed his gaze, finding two kids in school uniforms across the street. They had to be first years in high school, he figured, and he watched as the blond one made an elaborate hand gesture and the black-haired one only smiled shyly in return. “They’re...”

“Young,” Kuroo finished for him. It was rare for Bokuto to be at a loss for words, but when he was, Kuroo always knew what he was trying to say.

Before either of them could say anything else, the blond boy spotted Kyouhei, his expression darkening. When he turned back to his friend, however, he had a grin that consumed his whole face. He bowed theatrically and jogged towards the three by the van, waving to his friend until the other boy was out of sight. Then his pace changed to a prowl of a walk, his hands in his pockets and his eyes half lidded with what seemed to be annoyance. Bokuto couldn’t help but stiffen, watching the odd two-faced nature of the stranger. 

“Kyouhei,” the boy said as he approached the van. He gave Kuroo and Bokuto a sweeping glance, his eyebrow raised. “What is it?”

“I need to ask a favor,” Kyouhei said evenly. He towered over the kid, but it didn’t seem to bother either of them. “Did you send some of your guys after a van today?”

The kid shrugged. “What’s it matter?”

Kuroo was grinding his teeth beside Bokuto, so he put a hand on his friend’s chest to try and keep him calm. Kyouhei didn’t move his eyes from the blond kid, but he definitely noticed the motion. “We don’t have a lot of time. These guys are missing their friend. We need to talk to whoever found the van.”

The boy looked again at Kuroo and Bokuto, more curious than before, less defensive. He worked his bottom lip in his teeth for a moment, before looking back at Kyouhei. “Yeah. I’ll see what I can find out.” The boy whipped out his phone and took a few steps away from the group, dialing quickly before waiting for an answer. 

“Who is he?” Bokuto asked Kyouhei before Kuroo could say anything.

“His name’s Masaomi. He’s not a threat, so don’t worry about him.”

“And how do you know he doesn’t have Oikawa?” Kuroo demanded. “He leads a gang, right?”

Kyouhei closed his eyes, taking a slow breath. “They wouldn’t have any use for your friend. Believe me, the Yellow Scarves haven’t kidnapped him.” 

Masaomi hung up the phone, stepping back towards Kyouhei. “Teru said that the Black Rider showed up, so they bailed.” He made eye contact with Kuroo, his head slanted back a bit. “Your friend was fine when they saw him. But good luck finding the Black Rider.”

“Isn’t that, you know, the headless one?” Bokuto asked.

“So people say,” Masaomi said with a shrug. “I heard they’re with the Dollars, too.”

Kyouhei lowered his head a bit, his eyes barely poking out from under his cap. “Enough, Kida. That’s all we need.”

“What are the Dollars?” Bokuto asked, purposefully ignoring Kyouhei’s cues to stop.

Masaomi looked at Kyouhei, and then back to Bokuto. “It’s not really my business to tell you,” he said, lifting his hands. “Anyway, if the Black Rider isn’t with the Dollars, finding them will be seriously hard. Again, best of luck.” He spun on his heel, back to his larger-than-life body language, and then waved without looking back as he walked away. “I’ll tell you if I hear anything.”

“Thanks,” Kyouhei said, not moving until Masaomi was swallowed by the crowd. “This might be tricky.”

“What? You guys aren’t buddy-buddy with the myth?” Kuroo said, probably trying to poke fun, but coming across sour.

Kyouhei smiled regardless. “It may be a surprise, but there are plenty of people here we don’t know, or have heard of but can’t contact. The Rider is one of them.” 

Bokuto looked between them. “So then what do we do?”

“I guess we just have to watch the road and try to find them.” Kyouhei shrugged.

“Are you serious?” Kuroo snapped. “We’re completely blind now! What kind of lead is this?”

“The best we have,” Kyouhei answered evenly. “Tell your friends to watch for them too.” He went back into the van without another word.

Kuroo threw his hands in the air, fuming. He whipped his phone out furiously.

 **ur favorite lolcat:** get outside, look for a headless motorcyclist  
**Mr. Sugawara Daichi:** Kuroo, have you lost it?  
**ur favorite lolcat:** no. get outside. They wear all black and a yellow cat-ear helmet  
**USHIJIMA WAKATOSHI:** Bokuto, has Kuroo hit his head?  
**HOOT HOOT:** no hes being serious  
**Mr. Sugawara Daichi:** Um, okay. We’ll get on it.

~Sawamura’s~PoV~

“So, I guess we should go,” Daichi said, still staring at his phone as if reading the text one more time would magically give logic to the words.  
“Yeah,” Ushijima agreed.

Daichi, not able to take his eyes from his phone, slid out of the booth and took two steps towards the door. He collided hard with what felt like a brick wall and found himself on the floor, his phone sliding across the tile. Looking up, his eyes widened in disbelief and terror; a certain blond was glaring down at him, a snarl on his lips. “Watch where you’re going, dumbass.”

He couldn’t respond. He may as well have been staring down the barrel of a gun. _This is it,_ he thought, _Oh God, this is how I die._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for being patient with this, friends. I'm almost at finals week in college and I'm dying inside lmao so chapter four might take even longer. Your comments are super helpful though, and thanks for the support! I'm having so much fun!

**Author's Note:**

> Hoo boy, that was fun :D More to come, friends!
> 
> 1\. The ships (if they happen) may be different from national hot dad alliance, mainly because I myself am KuroOi trash.  
> 2\. Daichi may be OOC, please tell me if you think so!


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